Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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