I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
