where does the pee come out of this thing
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
