plz talk dirty to me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
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I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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