she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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