My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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