Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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