i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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