As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
