did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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