Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
