what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
