I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize