I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
it's great music for shaving your balls
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
