yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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