Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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