This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
