i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
