My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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