We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
