there was a trapeze. enough said
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
