nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
