dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
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Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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