Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
nutella sex= disaster
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
