I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Who died my cat blue again?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
