The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
