If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
