Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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