I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
