I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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