i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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