love makes seman taste better
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You ruined the universe
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
