About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
