I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
