why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize