spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
