Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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