No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize