I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
