So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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