theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize