That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize