Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
why is half of my head shaved?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
