It's Friday. Sex?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
