Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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