It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
