my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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