this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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