I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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