1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My dick has a subreddit
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
