Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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