do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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