And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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