my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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