never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
