He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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