I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
