oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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