I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
