Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
