Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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